I can't be the only guy this has happened to -
You meet who you immediately feel is the perfect man for you, only to discover he's a great guy who completely detests all the things you've done in your past, but haven't told him about yet.
Specifically - all the times you've had sex with other guys, all the times you've enjoyed going to nudist camps, been to those private outdoor barn parties full of naked men having sex, all those times you've cruised truck stops, rest areas and the c.b. radio.
It happened to me again. I'd been with this guy one time over a year ago and we had a fantastic time. It was the first time I'd been in bed with anyone and they'd actually shown me affection rather than passionate lust. I thought it was cute at the time, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how good it felt. Before I knew it, I started fantasizing about this guy and I saw myself in a loving, one-man relationship where we came home from work and lived every domesticated gay man's dream. It scared me to have those sort of thoughts, but they felt good. It was difficult to see myself in a relationship because most guys don't approve of the sort of sex life I have, or have had in my past.
A year passed before I spoke to this again. Just last week I saw him online and I said hello. He was back in the states, and as we talked, he confessed he'd really enjoyed himself and wanted to be more than just fuck buddies. (Cue the "hallellujah" choir!) We talked, and we talked some more, and I became aware of his life as a single parent, and his crucial need for privacy and discretion. No problem. I'm more covert than most of our government operations, and I've enjoyed being discreet for almost all of my sex life. I could deal with his top-secret needs. Unfortunately, his needs got bigger.
Being new to this sort of man-to-man lifestyle, he had all sorts of questions about sex, activities, partners, etc. Even though he's a couple of years older than I am, I felt like I was giving my son his talk about the birds and the bees. That's about the time he hit me with a brick. "That all sounds like fun, and I appreciate you being so open-minded about it. But I think I'm just gonna keep you as a fuck buddy and not fuck with anyone else. I don't want to be a whore."
Ouch. Is that what he thought I was? Or is that what he'd think I was if I told him about my sex life before him? Man, what a kick in the nuts! I heard the speech over and over in my head, but the words never left my lips:
By the way, buddy, I've had threesomes, I love to be sexually adventurous, and I run a website that features truckers, chasers, anonymous sex and promiscuity. Do you still love me? That's great! What color curtains should we get for the living room? Will your mom like me? I can cook, and I have great teeth! See?
Shyeah, right. Who am I kidding? So once again I've come to my all-too-familiar fork in the road. Do I try to live my fairytale fantasy dream life and give up all the things I love doing to make this man happy? Or do I live my life with no compromises and hope the right man comes along (again) who won't have a thing about me being (or having been) a "whore"?
The "whore" comment happened about two days ago, and I've been too chicken-shit to answer the phone when he calls. I'm just not sure what to tell him, or where to go from here. I know what the right thing to do is, but it's so hard to turn away what feels like the man of my dreams.
I've been in this situation before, and I ended up moving in with a guy who turned out to be a total psychopathic asshole with a serious "mommy complex" and a self-destructive hate for human life as we know it. So I don't want to go down that path again. I made the wrong decision when I chose to sell my soul for what I quickly realized was a mistake in judgement. To put it lightly, it was very fucked up!
What would you do?
You meet who you immediately feel is the perfect man for you, only to discover he's a great guy who completely detests all the things you've done in your past, but haven't told him about yet.
Specifically - all the times you've had sex with other guys, all the times you've enjoyed going to nudist camps, been to those private outdoor barn parties full of naked men having sex, all those times you've cruised truck stops, rest areas and the c.b. radio.
It happened to me again. I'd been with this guy one time over a year ago and we had a fantastic time. It was the first time I'd been in bed with anyone and they'd actually shown me affection rather than passionate lust. I thought it was cute at the time, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how good it felt. Before I knew it, I started fantasizing about this guy and I saw myself in a loving, one-man relationship where we came home from work and lived every domesticated gay man's dream. It scared me to have those sort of thoughts, but they felt good. It was difficult to see myself in a relationship because most guys don't approve of the sort of sex life I have, or have had in my past.
A year passed before I spoke to this again. Just last week I saw him online and I said hello. He was back in the states, and as we talked, he confessed he'd really enjoyed himself and wanted to be more than just fuck buddies. (Cue the "hallellujah" choir!) We talked, and we talked some more, and I became aware of his life as a single parent, and his crucial need for privacy and discretion. No problem. I'm more covert than most of our government operations, and I've enjoyed being discreet for almost all of my sex life. I could deal with his top-secret needs. Unfortunately, his needs got bigger.
Being new to this sort of man-to-man lifestyle, he had all sorts of questions about sex, activities, partners, etc. Even though he's a couple of years older than I am, I felt like I was giving my son his talk about the birds and the bees. That's about the time he hit me with a brick. "That all sounds like fun, and I appreciate you being so open-minded about it. But I think I'm just gonna keep you as a fuck buddy and not fuck with anyone else. I don't want to be a whore."
Ouch. Is that what he thought I was? Or is that what he'd think I was if I told him about my sex life before him? Man, what a kick in the nuts! I heard the speech over and over in my head, but the words never left my lips:
By the way, buddy, I've had threesomes, I love to be sexually adventurous, and I run a website that features truckers, chasers, anonymous sex and promiscuity. Do you still love me? That's great! What color curtains should we get for the living room? Will your mom like me? I can cook, and I have great teeth! See?
Shyeah, right. Who am I kidding? So once again I've come to my all-too-familiar fork in the road. Do I try to live my fairytale fantasy dream life and give up all the things I love doing to make this man happy? Or do I live my life with no compromises and hope the right man comes along (again) who won't have a thing about me being (or having been) a "whore"?
The "whore" comment happened about two days ago, and I've been too chicken-shit to answer the phone when he calls. I'm just not sure what to tell him, or where to go from here. I know what the right thing to do is, but it's so hard to turn away what feels like the man of my dreams.
I've been in this situation before, and I ended up moving in with a guy who turned out to be a total psychopathic asshole with a serious "mommy complex" and a self-destructive hate for human life as we know it. So I don't want to go down that path again. I made the wrong decision when I chose to sell my soul for what I quickly realized was a mistake in judgement. To put it lightly, it was very fucked up!
What would you do?